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Needles and Nukes
Written by Robert Vance on April 22, 2008 – 12:39 amI am not a squeamish person by nature but having a long Chinese needle stuck in my vein yesterday at my required physical checkup did make me feel a little nervous. Yes, I saw the nurse take the needle out of a small sealed plastic bag. And yes, it looked shiny and clean. But so were the hundreds of thousands of “recycled” chopsticks that a Beijing factory sent out to the world last year; those chopsticks were never disinfected. In a country where shoddy and fake products reign supreme, I think I have the right to feel a little worried about a piece of metal being stuck into my body. Not only that, but the needle going in felt like a dozen bees had stung me in one place; it didn’t stop stinging either. And it is no wonder. I was in a long line of people who needed their blood drawn; we were like cars on an assembly line. The nurse grabbed my wrist, held it down, and ‘punched.’ After she had filled the vial, she yanked the needle out and sent me on my way.
After peeing in a cup, it was time for my ‘ultrasound.’ Basically, I laid down on a small bed and pulled my shirt up. A nurse dumped a load of gel on my chest and used a small device to scan my upper body. She did this for about 20 seconds and then threw a bunch of paper towels on my chest and told me to leave. How in the world could they possibly find out if there was anything wrong with me in 20 seconds?
The final event of the morning for me was a close encounter with the X-Ray machine. I fully expected to be taken to a small, shielded room like last time where a gigantic machine would shoot waves into my body. Imagine my surprise when I was ushered out of the building and into the hospital parking lot. A doctor asked me to step into the back of a small minibus and wait for further orders. Once inside, I was surprised to see that the entire back of the bus was actually a machine with a arm sticking out that would shoot me. To my right was a thin partition where I could see a man sitting behind a computer. It was like something out of a Sci-Fi movie. But I had no time to think. A speaker nearby came alive with orders. Turn around and face the machine I was told. I did and there was silence for about 20 seconds. Five seconds later, I was told to exit the machine. My work visa examination was over. Considering that I was never given a lead vest to wear, I hope I can still have children someday.
I don’t believe that the physical examinations here are really very useful for anyone. I think that they are mainly for show. The Chinese government wants people to think that they take health seriously but the speed at which the tests are performed suggest otherwise. Oh well. As long as I passed and can get that working visa, I don’t really care how they do it. I just hope I never have to go the hospital in China forany truly serious condition.
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I resent these annual tests for me and wife and the kids, too. Even the kids have to have the HIV test, and I am highly suspicious that they just collect the blood and toss it in the trash.
These tests to me, are not “mainly for show”, but for revenue generation, and to let you know who’s in charge.
You are taking this in Shanghai, right? :). They can find out stones in Kidney and fat on liver in that 20 seconds with Ultrasound