Comments on: Dating and Sex in China

By: Cosmopolis

Cosmopolis — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 22:38:33 +0000

A fascinating discussion!

By: ssupath

ssupath — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 22:45:34 +0000

black woman,

as Robert Vance posted above, he just didn’t know. However, like you, I would like to hear more about dating/marrying/etc…for Foreign women with Chinese men, too.

Robert Vance, thank You for the congrats on the baby.

And I should say that it’s not all been peaches and cream! Our relationship has been a very challenging thing to negotiate at times! Part of it is because of our distance initially as we were going through the immigration process. Oh that was hard! 2 years like that! Then there were cultural things…and expectations which were not met for various reasons…we had to constantly keep our minds open and readjust our thinking/attitudes.

I will say that even the Chinese men are not quick to sleep with us or “hit on us” if we seem intersted. They are quite shy and reserved! As a matter of fact, if they are interested, they might even come acrossed as “not interested”. They’re different to read than American guys. I did like this about them *(him).

Black woman, I’d like to hear your stories…yes I have met some chinese guys (and others from other countries) who were very interested in a green card. Life is not easy and free in China…and many have a dream to come here and realize when they meet you that this may be their only chance to come here– ever.

Tell us your experiences please….and I’ll tell you mine.

By: black woman

black woman — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 22:53:30 +0000

First of all I think it’s quite unfortunate how there is all this rhetoric concerning how the typical white male jets off the plane in Beijing to swing his cock over the city and prowl around Houhai and Sanlitun to sleep with and use Chinese woman, but there is really no discussion about the more recent and growing phenomenon: Chinese men taking advantage of foreign women! Green Card Girls? Please. There are thousands of Green Card Boys out there and I’ve definitely kung-fu fought quite a few already. To be honest, I do have a few horror stories and I’m sure that I’m not the only one. I hope this can help start a discussion group for women out there who need the support, aka me!!!

By: Suri

Suri — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 07:05:16 +0000

hi robert,
it seems a very interesting topic. but i didn’t read the whole article. i am in a hurry at the moment. but i will come back and completely read it later. it surprised me that you actually replied almost your readers. and people here mentioned some interesting viewpoints about chinese culture and chinese girls.
i have an english boyfriend. and i am from a very traditional family. ny family lives in a small town people there only see foreigners from tv. i will make him read this. =)
cheers.

Suri

By: thewhorenextdoor

thewhorenextdoor — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 06:56:55 +0000

just go next door to Japan. those bitches love to be taken advantage of… they also got money….

By: Mark

Mark — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 04:23:34 +0000

No, Hagmaba. What a silly question. Get in there, enjoy the sexy local women! And these will undoubtedly be infinitely hotter than the expat women around. Just be aware that some elements of society invest heavily in a superficial discourse of morality, and will possibly try to make you fit their norms if they can see that it is to their advantage. Simple: the sex is great, but you would be well advised to be sure that you really want to get involved in a meaningful relationship before sleeping with the same girl twice!

Tell it how it is.

Yours,
Mike

By: Hagamaba

Hagamaba — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 03:51:04 +0000

As a male who is going over to live/teach in china for a year this has been a very informative post and discussion. One question though.

Should i stick with just the expat women and avoid the locals all together?

By: Jonathan

Jonathan — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 20:23:16 +0000

I want to live with my chinese girlfriend in beijing when I arrive to study mandarin. Is this something that is frowned on in China. I will marry her after waiting the approriate number of days.

By: Robert Vance

Robert Vance — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 08:36:28 +0000

@Ci,

That’s a pretty arrogant response, my friend. If the job is so difficult and unrewarding, then why do you do it? I would venture to say that living in China (and being treated like royalty by most Chinese people) is probably one of the more easier jobs that one could choose. Come on…what’s difficult about teaching English in China?

By: ci

ci — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 19:47:08 +0000

the most important thing to consider in this situation is age. chinese people mature more slowly than in western countries and and if your looking for any kind of reasonable adult behaviour and self responsability from the people your going out with then you should try to avoid girls or woman who are less than twenty-three, twenty four years old. even then you should be careful. We are adults if they are adults thats the end of it, but theese girls are girls allot longer. but we cant live are life being paranoid about about living in a culture of shame because that leads you just either be horably reppresed or just not give fuck. just dont be stupid. thats all. and im sorry if your going to babyface or some other club like that its fair game if your not there to score (girls and boys)then your a liar. for us teachers i hate this guest mentality to thats shoved down your throat by both the goverment and collums like this. you are doing this country a great service and doing a difficult and fininacial yfor the most part unrewarding job, in aculture that for most civilized people is very hard to live in. stay strong stay yourself grow and dont let the mind fucks sway you. oh and just because a young girl is using an old man for money doesny mean the man is using the woman for sex…….any ways fdp