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Just Say No…!
Written by Robert Vance on March 11, 2008 – 2:31 amIt was eight o’clock in the evening when my phone rang. I had just taken a shower and was in the middle of popping a movie into the DVD player. It had been a long day. I had given five classes and three of those had been with squirming little Kindergartners who just would not pay attention. I was ready to relax and head off to bed early. I didn’t recognize the number as I pressed the green “push to talk” button but I certainly recognized the voice as soon as it came blaring through the earpiece. It was my boss. And it didn’t take long for him to let me know why he had called. An important official from the the government’s Education Department was passing through town and my boss had invited him to a late dinner. My boss wanted me to join the dinner party since I was the lone foreign representative in our school. The dinner would be taking place about ten minutes down the road.
I am not a person who likes to say no. But as I thought about his request, I realized that it was important for me to say “no.” I could have gotten up and slipped over to the restaurant on my motorcycle. I probably would have enjoyed the free food. But I knew that if I said yes to these sorts of requests early on in my contract, a precedent would be set and it would be harder to say “no” later on. The fact is, my contract specified that my work hours were between the hours of 9am and 5pm. I was under no obligation to attend. Also, I had not been given what I would consider to be proper notice. I couldn’t let my boss think that I was available at a moment’s notice. So, I simply told my boss the truth. I didn’t want to go because I was heading towards bed and because the notice was too short. He sounded dissappointed but not angry.
Saying “no” is an important part of establishing your relationship with your school or organization in China. Your bosses will try to take advantage of you as much as they can. And I don’t mean this in a bad way. My boss wasn’t evil; he just wanted to show me off to the government official. If you set the tone early on in your contract, you will find it much easier to refuse later. You need to define the limits when it comes to your working hours and extra favors that you do for the school.
This is not to say that you should never “go the extra mile” and help your school out. I did do many extra favors for my school but always within my terms. For example, if my boss gave me two or three days notice about a dinner that he wanted me to attend, I would do my best to honor his request. If he wanted me to teach a class or meet someone after school, I would often comply provided that I was paid overtime for my extra work. But by saying “no” now and then, I was able to show the school that I wanted to have my own life apart from the English Program and that I would be willing to help them out but only if the request was reasonable.
Be firm with your school or organization on issues relating to your contract. If they break the contract, even with regards to a small issue, you should express your dissappointment and inform the school that you expect them to fulfill their obligations. Always be professional in the way that you communicate with your boss and don’t let your emotions get involved. If you have a problem, think first about how to communicate before you rush in and start talking. Remember that your bosses will often not understand English very well so make sure you are slow and deliberate when you are communicating.
My boss quickly said goodbye after I refused his offer and we hung up. When I saw him the next day, he didn’t say anything about the dinner. I think that he respected my decision not to go. He probably also made a mental note to give me more notice next time. And I made a mental note to turn my phone off after 8:00.
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Here is a suggestion:
A friend of mine had 2 cellphones or 2 SIM cards. One was for school and teaching, but one was for close friends. In this manner, he could avoid certain calls during certain hours.
Yes indeed, Mr. Vance, your advice here is most instructive and valuable to any new employee…Be firm and fair and stand your ground, lest one ends up as the company ‘bat boy” ,water boy ‘ or even worse, as the company ‘mascot’.
I have always found that the more favours you do your boss, the more they’ll expect. And, those things that were “favours” quickly become part of your job. Saying “no” is really important for your peace of mind.
@Annie,
Agreed. And saying no is pretty easy in China especially when you can simply pull out your contract and remind your boss that what he is asking you is not one of your responsibilities.