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The Chinese Stare
Written by Robert Vance on April 9, 2008 – 4:26 amDo you have blonde hair, blue eyes, and very light skin? Congratulations. You have just earned yourself a minimum of 1 million stares while you are teaching in China. You will be stared at on the street, in the bus, at the bank, in the restaurant, at the train station and wherever else you go. You may even have the honor of causing some car accidents as drivers take their eyes off the road and strain their necks to look at you. It does not matter what your mother taught you about staring at other people;if you look different in China you will be noticed and observed.
But do not let the stares bother or intimidate you. The looks are usually out of curiosity especially if you are in a city where few foreigners live. For many people in China, life is very dull and repetitive and your brief appearance may lighten up their day. Some of them may even muster up enough courage to come and talk to you. There are too many Chinese people who have studied English but have never had the chance to practice with a foreigner. If this opportunity arises, be polite and encouraging.
However, I do talk to my students about good manners. I explain to them that in my home country there are people with purple hair and orange hair. There are people with one arm and one leg. There are even people with glass eyes. But I inform my students that we do not stare at such people. They are human beings just as I am in a human being in China. Staring at me because I am different is rude. One glance might be fine. Maybe even a second glance is permissible. My students usually nod their heads in agreement when I talk about this topic but I doubt any of them stop this bad habit.
So, people are going to stare at you; it is just part of the culture. But you can stare back! I do this frequently. Usually, the ‘offending’ starer drops the gaze and turns red. Then I smile kindly. I do not want to make anyone feel bad. However, I do draw the line at people who want to take pictures of me. I do not take pictures of people in China without asking for their permission. I should be shown the same courtesy. If someone attempts to take an unsolicited picture, I will do everything in my power to make sure the photo does not turn out well.
Do not take yourself too seriously in China. Have fun and enjoy the attention. People are just curious about you. Sure, it might get annoying after awhile. But just remember, it might be the only chance you have to get a taste of what it must feel like to be a movie star.
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I dunno dude, staring grates on the nerves after a while. I’ve perfected the cold-eye stare and I can hold it as long as they can, and I’ve been locked in some fierce battles with particularly determined old codgers incredulous that my whiteness has invaded their motherland but I never back down. But I’ve noticed another kind of stare- the kind that is followed by an impish smile and is subsequently followed by “Hello!” “Nice-uh to meet-uh you!” but only if you maintain prolonged eye contact. I give them the quick once-over “pshh” then let my gaze meander to the infinitely more interesting tree branch or shop sign. If I notice someone staring at me, I do absolutely nothing, since they are hoping to catch me speaking Chinese or doing any variety of entertaining activities, so after a few moments, they realize that I am in fact an ordinary human being just like them and they move on. The staring habit will never change in small-town China because the foreigners will always be attracted to the big cities and thus foreigners will always be novelties in smaller cities and thus foreigners will always have condescending attitudes towards rude citizens in these cities. Of course if it’s a posse of pretty girls staring, that’s perfectly fine :-).
If a ET show in New York…
I can imagine how many stares he/she will get..
Just curiosity …
After about a year here, you get used to the stares. However at first it was very difficult to deal with. Often times making me really mad. I am 6′1″ blonde hair and green eyes, so I begain to learn quite bymyself the Chinese had no ill intent, just plain curiousity. Not to mention I have many tatoos that only add to their curiosity. After 3 years I am no longer bothered by it, and rarely ever pay attention to them staring.
“If a ET show in New York…”
In New York? Who would notice? He might already be living there for all we know!
“If a ET show in New York…”
In New York? Who would notice? He might already be living there for all we know!
haha…I see..
Frankly I don’t think many of them see westerners as human. I’m blond and at least twice the size of most locals here, so I attract lots of stares. I can live with stares no problem, but I’m getting sick of being poked at and touched. I have been in Jiangsu for three months now and twice I have had total strangers walk up, grab my arm and examine my bicep like an interesting piece of meat. My girlfriend (a westerner too) told them in Mandarin each time that I didn’t like it and was getting angry, but that only resulted in a moment’s pause. When I yanked my arm away, they seemed shocked that I would object.
@FilthyLauWei,
Thanks for your comments. I have also heard stories of foreigners being touched in China, especially women. I am always surprised when I hear these stories because I would think that at least people would grow up in China knowing better than to touch complete strangers. I can see why that would be annoying. I have never been touched by an adult but I have had some beggar children hang on to my legs (one on either leg). While I find that incredibly annoying I try to be gentle as I push them off.
Stares I can deal with, touching and talking crap I cannot. As i’ve mentioned before, going out by myself the stares are generally curiosity. I have to agree with FiltyLauWei’s comment. I have experianced the same crap, as I’m also blonde and 2 times the size of the average Chinese.
But my wife is Chinese, when we go out together usually the stares turn from one of curiosity to disgust.
Mr. Vance I know you love China deeply, but sir I have been to many countries in my life, and this is by far the most racist of them all. My attitude as of late has turned from mild annoyment to complete rage. Good thing Im going back to the States in 13 days. I plan to never set foot here again.